35 Random Facts About Me

I once crammed an entire jumbo-sized Moonpie in my mouth.

I have been licked by a giraffe.

I've seen the movie Star Wars well over 1000 times.

When observing passers-by, I pretend I'm Johnny from Stephen King's The Dead Zone and come up with some downright AWFUL things about each one.

Every time I walk through the automatic doors a Kroger, I make the "Star Trek Door Noise" (Schwip).

When I was a kid, I spent a summer agitating spiders in my back yard and letting them bite me so that I could gain the powers and abilities of Spider-Man.

I wet the bed until the beginning of my 7th grade year.

I add the words "motherf*cker" to the end of commercial slogans/jingles. Easy-Off makes oven cleaning easier, motherf*cker."

I cried when Spock dies at the end of Star Trek II.

At home, I climb the stairs on all fours, pretending to be Spider-Man.

Sometimes, my pee smells like Flintstone's Chewables.

I ruin the image and the style that you're used to.

I look funny.

I'm making money.

I hope you're ready for me.

I'm the new fool in town.

My sound's laid down by The Underground.

I drink up all the Hennessey you got on your shelf.

My name is Humpty (pronounced an an Umpty).

Yo laidies, ho I like to hump thee.

I like to rhyme.

I like my beats funky.

I'm spunky.

I like my oatmeal lumpy.

I'm sick with this straight gangster mack.

Sometimes I get ridiculous.

I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice.

I'm a freak.

I like the girls with the boom.

I once go buys in a Burger King bathroom.

I'm crazy.

I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.

I'm still getting in the girls' pants.

I even got my own dance.